"My friend came to the house today and cooked a lot of food. Can you come over and help me wash the dishes?" Well, I have to get up now, it’s so troublesome.”
“I cooked the food and cleared the table, so why don’t you just wash the dishes?”
“I I’ve been working all day, why don’t you let me take a break, I’m exhausted.”
“You’re not the only one working, I’ve also been working all day, and I have to cook for you two when I get back. I’m tired of doing the laundry.”
Are you familiar with this kind of dialogue?
When people get divorced, they always talk about emotional discord and personality incompatibility, which actually undermines the marriage. The conflicts were broken apart and crushed, and it was just a trivial matter of food, rice, oil and salt.
When we get married, we don’t go with the idea of ????living a lifetime together, but many times, when we want to go on, we are always tripped up by small things.
One: Making a fuss about housework
Among them, the most frustrating thing is Do housework. Divorcing because the husband doesn't do housework seems a bit fussy, but this kind of thing is tormenting each other for a long time. Who doesn't work hard? Why can a husband enjoy his wife's contribution as a matter of course, and occasionally do some housework and become a helper?
When they got married, they said they were in the same boat through thick and thin. But after getting married, the small matter of doing housework caused the love boat to capsize.
There is a friend who hates the fact that her husband does not do housework. During the quarrels, she mentioned divorce countless times, but was persuaded to come back again and again.
The reasons for the persuasion were similar. It's just to say that she doesn't care about her anymore. After getting married, it doesn't matter who does the housework.
Two: The breakdown of a marriage is all about the details
Yes, everyone is the same, then Why did I do it?
In the 7 years of marriage, I have never eaten a bite of the food he cooked for me, and I have never worn a piece of clothing he washed for me. Before we got married, he didn’t like to do housework, but at least he could do it. Now when I get home, it's like I've been living on the sofa, and I can't even scream.
According to his logic, the sheets and quilts can be put on by oneself, the clothes can be carried to the washing machine by oneself, the garbage can be jumped into the trash can by oneself, and one can sort it into categories before going in. What does this mean?
There is a saying that a thousand-mile embankment is destroyed by an ant nest, and the same is true for marriage. Life is not a TV series, and there are not so many bloody plots. Most people’s marriages break down because of the details.
Three: The road to marriage is for two people to walk
Not doing housework is a small matter, but it reflects the current situation of marriage. Many men regard marriage as the responsibility of their wives alone. If she does well, she should deserve it. If she does not do well, she deserves to be scolded. But why?
She also has a job and her own life. Why should your wife make way for your marriage as soon as she gets married? Why don’t you think about how to balance family and career? It will only force the wife to take care of both.
Many times, women in widowed marriages not only hate their men’s inaction, but also feel that they will be better off if they are divorced. Anyway, it will be the same with or without you.
You live with her, and you have to make her angry from time to time. Why not let her live by herself.
Four: What is the normal way of getting along?
The way parents get along will affect their children. Therefore, widowed marriage is "hereditary". When children are young, they have no concept of how husband and wife get along and can only imitate their parents.
If the couple has been in a widowed marriage for a long time, the children will think that this is the normal way of getting along in a marriage. The housework should be done by the woman, and the man can be the hands-off shopkeeper when he returns home.
That’s why we say that a child whose native family is happy will not have a bad married life in the future. After all, his parents have given him the best love education.
In marriage, some mistakes cannot be forgiven, and some people are not worth saving, but for some problems, if there is a way to remedy it, why can’t we give it a try? We cannot change our family of origin. But we can become better versions of ourselves in marriage.
