Question: I like a girl, but she hasn’t accepted her after pursuing her for a long time. When I asked her why, she just said that she didn’t believe in long-term love. After getting to know her, I found out that her parents divorced when she was very young, and she followed her mother. Her mother also found many partners, but the results were not good, and she did not believe in love. I would like to ask what should a girl whose native family is unhappy pursue?
Answer: In fact, the original family has a great influence on a person. The most obvious manifestation is that it is difficult for them to fall in love. When facing a person who lacks love, healing her does not depend on how much you love her or how much warmth you can give her. The most important thing is: it is very difficult for her to accept your love generously.
Because she doesn’t believe it, it’s not that she doesn’t believe that you love her very much and that you are very loyal to this relationship, but she simply doesn’t believe that she can have so much unconditional love. Especially people with avoidant attachment style will frequently push away their partners in relationships, and will use the most extreme and cold-blooded ways to hurt each other during quarrels and conflicts.
But once they push their partner away, they will be in great pain, and they will be depressed and miserable because the other half has really left them.
Because people who are particularly lacking in love are like this: they don’t believe that they can have love, so when someone loves them, they will instinctively use the most extreme means to test whether the other person is true. Love themselves as much as they imagined. Even if the other person withstands the pressure and survives, they will not be relieved because they will be incredulous: How can I have such a love?
In their eyes, relationships are unsustainable, so in order to avoid the loss and sadness of the final farewell, they will choose to stay together He tried every means to ruin this relationship from the beginning. This kind of people are really contradictory and very sick. What they need is the kind of partner who has been pushed away countless times, but who firmly chooses them countless times, but they themselves also know:
There is no one Normal people can withstand such torture. For them, love is something they are always longing for and always fearing. They have built high walls in their hearts, but they are always longing for someone to climb over these high walls and barriers and come and embrace them.
